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At least you have some contact with him, I am completely cut off from mine, can’t call, and she currently lives in another country..
Yeah, I don’t mean to complain about what would have seemed like a gift while we were in no contact, because I understand the agony you are in. This is harder for me for some reason, we are all different.
Oh Palmtrees22 forgive me didn’t mean that you were complaining at all, it was just my personal wish. I know that it is hard for you too, I respect everyone’s suffering believe me. It is comforting to talk about it here.
Hopefully tomorrow you’ll feel better when it is not her birthday anymore. Keep us posted!
Fishing, did you wish her a happy birthday? And if you don’t mind me asking, what is your story? I’m not sure if I have seen it on here or not.
Thank you Palmtrees22, I hope tomorrow I will feel better because today I am pretty much beat up and hopeless now. I can’t even sleep.
catherine8, yes I have sent her an e-mail (the only way I can reach her right now because she has blocked/deleted me from everything) early in the morning, of course I haven’t received any reply yet but maybe she hasn’t even checked her inbox.
I’ve posted a thread about my story in this section, if you like to read it, have a look at it because it’s sorta difficult to summarize in a few lines, I am sorry. This is the link below:
Oh no I’m so sorry to hear that fishing 🙁 how are you feeling about everything today? I hope you are feeling a bit happier?
Thanks amy111. Not feeling better either, my ex hasn’t even read my note yet, I didn’t care if she replied, just wanted her to check it.
I am thinking she just threw it in the bin without opening it or added me to her junk mail list. Awesome.Fishing, I read your story on the other page and it sounds like your history with your ex is turbulent to say the least. I am sorry you are feeling hopeless right now, but I think your ex’s request for space seems like potentially the best thing for your future; sometimes people need a chance to press the reset button. You might have scared her when you sent those aggressive texts (something she is likely sensitive too) she has been in a bad situation before and likely wants to avoid another one. Anything reminiscent of her past probably sends her running further and faster and I’m afraid her birthday maybe came a little too quickly on the heels of your latest incident for her to be happy about it. On the bright side, I don’t think this means your situation is hopeless, I think it needs more time. If you can harness the patience to let her heal (which will be longer than the time it takes you to heal), then I think you’ll experience more success. Try not to be overly discouraged by her lack of response- she’s trying to clear her head, which is not a bad thing.
Hey guys how are you?
@Fishingthesky! be strong friend!I know well what you are going through! I am also blocked all sorts of communication with my ex and feel helpless about it! It’s amazing how we feel small in this situation!
Try not to think why she did not want to contact us! they are trying hard to clear the negative thoughts and avoid thinking of us! but this can be good!
This weekend was hard for me too! It was the first day in 45 days after the end I felt really alone!
Fishinthesky! you can count on me!
Thanks for your words guys.
Palmtrees22, she’s asked for space since the beginning of July and I have granted her that. We seemed to agree though that at the end of August we would have discussed about what to decide for this relationship.
I thought she would have sent me birthday wishes on her own initiative, because she has always done it no matter what. I have contacted again to ask her if her friends in Munich were alright (because there was a shooting that day)and just asked how she was. She repeated (rather harshly) she needed to clear her head and she needed time to take care of herself. She also told me she didn’t wanna have other relationships.At the beginning of August I informed her about the date of my arrival there, but she told me not to have great expectations and that she was seeing someone unofficially (this is like two weeks after she swore she didn’t wanna date anyone else?!).
That really hurt. So I considered ending this story for good and I asked her to give me closure this time. She seemed upset about it even if she was clear to me she was trying to move on.
Then I sent that stupid text and she just disappeared.I cancelled my trip because it’s obvious she has no intention to see me. I know she needs time to heal and recover but why does she always need to date somebody else coincidentally close to our breakups? She kept changing her mind about everything. That’s why I wanted to say goodbye.
I am patient Palmtrees22, but I can’t wait forever around. She just can’t leave, do her stuff and expect me to take her back every time. I am taking care of myself because I need to change completely on some aspects.
I believe she really wanna forget about me now and she’s doing everything for that to happen.
I also believe in love and I never gave up on us in the past, now I am slowly losing hope.It might not sound like it but I can totally understand your frustration. I’m in a bit of a holding pattern myself and unsure what to do (wondering if these texts are a slow way to start anew or a way to ensure I’m still hanging on by a thread). I definitely agree that there are situations in which the best thing is to let go; however, I believe that depends less upon what the other person is doing and more upon the emotional state of the person who is waiting it out. It sounds like you’ve done a lot of good work to better yourself and I would hate to see your ex cause you to back track because you’re so frustrated. At the same time, you do see determined to make it work- in which case my advice is to continue giving space.
It’s a hard space to be in, not being sure if you want to hang on or let go. I waiver with it every day and I’m currently in a state of inaction, which is driving me crazy, causing a loss of sleep, unfortunate thoughts about what may be going on on his end, etc. but I feel as though all I can do until I’ve made up my mind is take a pause, because I’ve already tried to ask him to go away and immediately regretted it.
I understand your frustration as well. Your days pass by while you are stuck in this sort of limbo where you are floating, not sure how to proceed, afraid to take the wrong decisions. Take all the time you need to figure out what you want and if it’s really worthwhile. Knowing myself, I must have a deadline in my mind, to choose what direction I wanna follow.
The previous times she left me, just when I was ready to let go, she came back.
I am determined to a certain extent, I have to see some signs soon that motivate me to go on.
I can’t sleep properly either, don’t have much appetite either at times. Seeing a therapist helps, but when you are alone in your bed at night, you are unarmed, facing your fears and sorrows in the darkness.I like the idea of a deadline, but I’m not sure when that should be. And again, I wish I knew if these small touches from him were signs of progress or just signs of his boredom. I know I feel better when I let him take the lead, so maybe I’ll just do that… Continue letting him initiate things and if it doesn’t pick up soon I’ll know it was meaningless.
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