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Breeeeeeeeeathe!
It’s very frustrating dealing with an ex, I feel you. But if you think this could be what you want, work through it. You don’t want to do something rash now that you might regret later. Just go with it and don’t reach out for a while. Take some space and try not to get worked up about his uselessness.
I think you’re right, no contact is easier because your ex isn’t in the equation. Once you add someone else, you cannot predict how they will react, so it messes up any plans you had. You just have to be able to react to whatever they throw at you. So this is what he’s throwing at you! It’s all good, just take a step back and re-evaluate what you want.
Happy birthday lin, hope u had a splendid day! Sorry for the late respones, i was away from internet all of yesterday. Did u hear from your ex at all?
Lin you put it best about my situation with my ex, “she is going through a personal journey”. And until she figures it all out, there is nothing much i can do. I was just so crushed about her daughter leaving, not only for her but i think on a personal level too. Thank you to everyone for the advice and kind words to ease my emotions through it. I appreciate it alot, as it has me feeling better with each passing day.
Pressed for time so, i will read up and check in with everyone tonight on there situations.
Here is the update. We hung out tonight and I asked him where he was at on things… He basically completely back tracked on everything he had said before and said he no longer felt like he wanted to see where things go, but didn’t see why we had to completely cut off communication. I asked him to stop talking to me. No contact day 1 starts tomorrow.
I feel both sad and relieved. I think it’s time to pursue someone I don’t have any baggage with instead of waiting on someone who regularly re-initiates things just to change his mind.
Hey Palmtrees,
Wow, well done for being strong. It sounds like you had an emotional discussion, and it also sounds like it’s what you needed. There’s nothing worse than being in limbo.
I’m sorry things didn’t go as well as they could have 🙁 but you’ve learned a lot about what you want and what you’re willing to put up with. He will respect that in you.
Good idea starting no contact again. I think you’ll get a lot out of it!
Unfortunately, I think maybe that was as well as it could have gone. He was wanting to have me as an option but didn’t want to commit to me, I think I had hoped that with time he would start to feel otherwise (and maybe he would have) but it was too painful for me to be in limbo like that.
You did the right thing. I hope you’re okay!! Treat yourself this weekend. Go to a spa or something 🙂
So today while I was eating my lunch, I saw my ex for the first time since he broke up with me. His back was facing me but he did turn around and I don’t know if he was staring at me but I caught him looking. Just seeing him made me not want to touch my food. It just hurt seeing him because he ended things out of no where.
Also tomorrow is his birthday. He didn’t say happy birthday to me but should I still say happy birthday to him? I am unsure of it because he hasn’t said one word to me since the break up. He will have to see my face everyday since we share the same lunch hour though.
I wouldn’t say anything because I don’t think you’ll get the response you would desire and it will make you feel worse. Not saying anything will be difficult but may make you feel like you’ve regained some of your power.
Hi Catherine8
I’m going to respectfully disagree with Palmtrees22 on this one. I get the impresssion from what you have written that you would find it strange not to wish your ex a Happy Birthday. It may well make you feel worse if you dont get a response from him but sometimes I think you need to do what intrisically feels right. In this case I would suggest that it is the right thing to do, and you should end up feeling like the better person because of it.
I agree with Drygioni. My ex’s birthday is coming on Sunday and I am going to send her a note anyway even if I know she’s not gonna respond. If you have been together with someone for long time especially, it’s appropriate to do that, doesn’t mean you are weak. If it’s a short, polite and not too friendly note, there’s nothing really wrong with that. Just don’t expect anything back, who knows maybe you might be pleasantly surprised.
Well the thing is my ex has made it very clear that he doesn’t want anything to do with me. He has blocked me on everything including my friends too. He hasn’t texted me at all since the break up.
Same happened to me with my ex catherine8, she blocked me on everything and wiped my number off too. Just because they did this doesn’t mean they don’t care or wouldn’t read our birthday notes. They do appreciate in their hearts but they are too stuck in their mindset to contact us. We just remind them bad memories for now.
I just think the importance of a birthday wish is a bit overdone. I think the consequences of letting your ex be on his birthday are actually positive- you’ll probably take him by surprise. I don’t think he’ll be angry with you–especially because he did not wish you a happy birthday, he kind of set the protocol. It’s possible he’ll appreciate your well wishes, it’s also possible he’ll think you’re finding any excuse you can to contact him.. You know him, how do you think he will take it?
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