I miss him and I don't want to

[qazwsxedcrfv]

I’ve been getting out there. I’ve been focusing on me. Today I went out and saw a movie with friends and tonight, I’m going to go be with friends some more. I feel like I’m doing everything I should be in terms of busying myself. But I just am sad. There’s no way around it, I am sad. I feel like he isn’t going to miss me, I feel like he hates me too much. Isn’t that why he blocked me? He hates me for being annoying? I just don’t know anymore. Can anyone else relate? Any advice on what to do to shake this emptiness?

[Anni]

I totally can relate to how you feel… I have the same thoughts and feelings and it’s really hard to keep distracting yourself. I don’t think he hates you, I think he is hurt and needs to figure out his feelings on his own by having space. By not contacting him you show him you are not annoying and prove him wrong so that’s good.

I’m also happy about advices for moments in which no distraction helps and the emptiness hits you :/

[qazwsxedcrfv]

I don’t know @Anni He sure acts like he hates me. I guess I’m proving him wrong by not being annoying but I have no way of contacting him anyway. So, I don’t really have the choice to be needy or not. He has a lot of stuff going on in his life, but I think IM the depressed one. Its why I was so needy all the time, I just got depressed a lot. *sigh* well… That doesn’t matter anymore. I just. I don’t know anymore.

[Anni]

I know it looks like this at the moment. He probably is mad right now and needs to cool off and sort out his stuff. By giving him space his negative feelings towards you will disappear! I don’t know if they will fully disappear but they will get less and less each day he isn’t confronted with it. And when you start contact again you are able to show him how you have changed (working on yourself, knowing more about your depression, maybe even being less depressed already!). I know you can do it, and I also know it is really really hard in the beginning.

Did he block you? There is always the choice of being needy or not, if you wanted you could contact him somehow (call him, appear at his house etc) and look needy and desperate but the fact that you don’t shows him that you are growing as a person and that you don’t need him for everything!

Do you have groups in your city for people with depression? Maybe it would help to go talking to them in person and share your stories. I have anxiety and joined a group cause I’m really insecure with myself and that causes jealousy and so on and I really want to change that. And talking to people who can relate helps a lot!

I know you gonna be okay, you’re strong 🙂

[qazwsxedcrfv]

Thank you…. I needed that @anni I guess I just need to be strong and have faith.

[Author]

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