Story so far

[Wellconfused]

Hey guys, I’ve posted several times before and this is just an update/search for insight.

So basically my ex and I dated for two years and broke up recently for the second time. The second break up was rash and due to an argument. We have been in contact ever since and he’s started using my pet names that he’s given me and used some personal jokes we used to have.

I thought this was promising, however, I am the only person initiating contact every time. I don’t speak to him everyday, but every time I talk to him, he will message me back straight away and in a positive manner.

I told him I needed my belongings back, which he was procrastinating returning back to me. All I wanted was to grab my things and go which I made pretty clear. However, he then messaged me saying he thought it was best if we caught up and had something to eat and had a good chat.

Any insight about why he might not be initiating or why he may be sort of being on and off would be so helpful xx

[FoguimDG]

For what I read, he still and you still have strong feelings for eachother… It seems you got way easier than many other here in this website, also than me(bit jealous here :p) do as he says, catch things up together, dont mention relationship or breakup, keep calm and let things flow and you might get there before you realise. Otherwise, the 5 steps will help you go further, read it carefully, take your time for it and don’t rush.

Best of luck! 🙂

[Wellconfused]

@FoguimDG
thank you for your positive message :). Sometimes it’s easier to make things seem more simpler than they are. I guess all we can do in this situation is keep our heads up and keep trying.

I just can’t help but think, maybe I can’t do this. What if he’s just being polite and answering back? (I may be overthinking things a lot here…)

[FoguimDG]

That’s why you need time for yourself, to calm down and get things back in line. Dont push too much for yourself, you will only ending up hurting yourself. Take the time, time is wise, time heals.

[Wellconfused]

@FoguimDG

You say he cares, and at times I can see that he still does but more recently, I don’t think he does. I think this because he doesn’t initiate at all… Is this a bad sign since you’re a guy?

Thanks for all the help btw x

[Night]

Okay reaction. He may be a little busy with his life now since you broke up. There are things he can do again. But here is the thing. It’s a good sign that he reacts at a very fast speed. But the thing is he doesn’t initiate the conversation. NC would be a good option. The other option is take it slowly. Dont make yourself over available for him. Build up emotions with simple text like these. “Hey i remember the time we watched that movie ________. It just reminded me of you. Anyway take care.” These kind of messages doesnt require so much attention from him but these bliss bombs are so powerful that even if they don’t reply they feel “she remembers that time? I remember that moment too”. Well good signs or bad signs it only depends on you and how you feel right now about your relationship with him.

[Wellconfused]

@Nightdeleon
I’m thinking about taking it slow. I’ve done no contact with him before and I really do believe no contact is more useful for me to move on with my life, than it is to reunite my ex and I.

What’s off putting is him not initiating and that’s discouraging to me in many ways. I’ll go for your advice with those type of texts. And what you say is true, it is up to how I feel. I haven’t given up on him because I believe it was never meant to end.

Thanks so much x

[Night]

No problem. Glad to help. Just keep up anything you are doing. At the end of the day it will be a big decision to keep fighting or moving on. Just keep fighting for now.

[Wellconfused]

@Nightdeleon
And how do you know when it’s time to give up? The conflict within myself is the fight between giving up and still going after what I want.

[Night]

That’s simple. When she’s wasting the improvements you’ve made in your life for her. If she’s the one that drives you to greatness then fight for a bit longer. Don’t let her waste everything you’ve created for yourself. Remember moving on is part of getting her back. You want a new relationship with her so present her a new person then if she forsakes the change leave with a smile on your face. There are infinite possibilities in the world. 7 billion men (not sure just a referrence) and only 1 didn’t value you. Try the other 6,999,999,999 who knows what will happen

[Wellconfused]

I’ve moved on and I’m happily able to leave him be if it comes to that. My main fear is that after meeting up with me, he won’t talk to me or even initiate anything with me. There’s a lot of weight placed upon this first meeting. I also often get paranoid about him being with someone else… I really am trying to get this anxiety out of the way

[Night]

That’s good. You seem like youre not confused anymore. Although it would be best just to wait it out and resolve everything for one last time.

[Wellconfused]

What should I do when I meet up with him? I need to present myself in a way that will attract him back… Any tips since you’re a guy?

[Night]

Okay first i will notice how she looks like. Hair, clothes, make up. Next i will notice perfume. Last is the attitude or the mental change. I would be looking at you as if i was looking for changes in behaviour. So first is physical changes. External beauty is important because it is the first thing people see from you. Next is internal beauty. It’s okay to be beautiful outside but being beautiful in the inside is better.

[Author]

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