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Hi Kevin,
Thank you for creating such a helpful forum.
I started with my bf in December 2014. We met online and within few days, it took off. It was all lovey dovey and fairy tale affair. He wasn’t having a job when we met. Still, I was with him. I helped him financially, bought innumerable gifts without buying for myself, frantically searched for jobs for him, made his resume, created his profiles on job boards, like everything. I literally used to be left with no money. Then also, I never told him so that he doesn’t feel bad about his situation.
He never promised me of marriage but yes told me that he will talk at home and seek his parent’s approval (In India, we must seek parent’s approval before doing anything. No matter how much grown ups we are). I was never comfortable with sex before marriage. I went ahead with him because he wanted. We used to live in different cities. I went to him every time to meet him. He never came to my place. I was ok with that.
Everything was so beautiful. We did have ugly arguments but we rebound.He got a job. Suddenly I could feel that his interest has lessened. He was nice, we still used to have long talks. But that warmth was missing. He never said I love you.
Then we had our parent’s meeting. Everything was ok until I and him had an argument over wedding arrangements. We argued. I said something which he interpreted to be something else. he never replied after that.
For 2 days, I kept calling him, msgng him, begging, pleading. He was unmoved. I was so shattered that I thought of suicide and messaged him the same. he thought I was blackmailing him. He did not reply even then.After 2 days, I called from a new number and he picked up. we had a discussion and he threatened me and told me not to call him again. In the heat of the moment, I asked him my money back. To which, he said many bad words which a guy would never say to anyone I believe. He called a prostitute having long term goals. That I spend a lil money on guys so that I can trap them to get married.
Where I messed up: I accessed him facebook, gmail without his knowledge. he blocked me everywhere.
After 2 weeks, i again hacked his passwords and also got pizza delivered to his place, called from a new number pretending to be a different person just to listen to his voice. He threatened me that he will file a police complaint for harassing him. I have become obsessed. Now, i have created a new account on whatsapp just to see him online. I don’t know what am I doing. 🙁 I am just not able to move on. It’s been 2 months since I last talked to him. Still his memories are as fresh as today. I keep on revisiting my chats with him, keep checking my phone logs when I received his last call on my number.
I know I have messed up everything to a huge extent. Still, I want him back. Please help me!
Honestly I don’t think he deserves you. You sound like too much of a good person. If he started to lose interest once he got a job then it’s seems like he was only there in the relationship for one thing.. Your money and what you could do for him.
We all do silly things when someone we love ends a relationship and I’m pretty sure we have all checked their facebook and see when they were last online. I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it. Give yourself a chance, it’s only been 2 months. It’s been 3 months since my relationship ended and I am starting to get her out of my mind now. I still get angry over how I was treated but I don’t want her back. Trust me you will feel the same at some stage but you just need to be patient.
Thank you beautiful people for your valuable replies.
Yes! I know! Logically I should move on! I was angry at him when this incident just happened. I never wanted him back. I was determined that I will bring so much positive changes to my life and will be successful so that one day he regrets for losing me. I just wanted him to realize his mistake. But will all the mistakes I have done, he is never going to realise.They say ‘Karma is a bitch’. But I have not seen Karma playing it’s role anywhere. 🙁
I am still not able to believe that he’s the same person with whom i used to talk everyday, I used to love. He changed in 2 days from a warm person to a cold stranger.
I used to be a confident, self-loving person. Now I have developed an inferiority complex. He said that he could have adjusted with everything if I was a good looking person. To add to it, I have no friends around, no hang out buddies. Nothing!
I try to keep myself as busy as I can. Reading novels, joining an NGO. Still, if I am idle even for 1 mint I start thinking of me. He is first person on my mind every morning, I have dreams of my reconciliation with him.yes! as per your advice, I will try to be patient. I have now set my targets for 1 week to not to stalk his fb, Whatsapp. I will eventually increase it.. I know no one can help me but me!
You have to stop looking at the relationship stuff until you can handle it. Stop now.
Also if you want any chance to get him back (which will sound pretty ridiculous to the outside world) stop any contact for at least 30 days as the site says.
Nightly– Do you think I wasn’t able to handle the relationship or the aftermath I have created.
He just doesn’t want to see me/ my texts. He is so much annoyed.The aftermath. But it’s mostly normal.
The best thing would have been to have zero contact, but it’s hard.
So to life up to yourself, do it now.
And trust me big time. In the end you’ll be happy you didn’t do contact anymore, because you’ll understand it’s totally worthless at this moment.I completely understand your pain. I too look back at the person I loved and how cold they were towards me during the break up and think to myself “did I really know this person and how could they change like that in the space of a very short time” Or you think did I ever mean anything to them to begin with??
Also I too think will Karma ever work out or will they ever realize they made a mistake and look for us back. Truth is we’ll never know. But life is long and be sure someone will f**k them over the same as they did to us.
All these are natural reactions to being hurt. At the end of the day I wouldn’t even bother setting targets. Allow yourself to be hurt and time will eventually heal. Just be patient with yourself and try not spend too much time alone. Plus you know that everyone on this site is here for each other and are there to advise.
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