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O gosh.
My story- first he called me by mistake. Then he msged me few days later to apologize for the call and wrote he hopes I’m doing well…
Everything was going somewhere- that was our first contact in 2 months. I was so glad he contacted me first. But since that day (last Sunday) he hasn’t. More so, he unfriended me on our quizz app. :-/I don’t know how to interpret that. I’m tired of this.
Surely you don’t know also. I mean… he hadn’t unfriended me for the whole time we were apart, and he has now, when he kind od reached out first.
This game is too exhausting, and there’s no winner in it.
Hey, all one.
to be honest, I didnt read your story your again, so I dont remember how long ago you’ve been apart from each other, why, how, etc etc.
However, Kevin says in “Sneaky Signs Your Ex Still Loves You (Even If They Say They Don’t)” that liking you and then unfriending on FB is a good sign regardless any background – isnt it?
Breaking up is draining, trying to get back is even worse. But you decided to give it a shot, dont give up now that you are kinda far. I know it’s hard to keep being positive with so many confused signs (my ex checked my profile on an app around 5-6 times in 2 weeks and then unfollowed me…). If you are blue, cry, call a friend, go to the gym. That’s how I’ve been coping with the ‘bad days’ (some days I am awesome; some others, I feel like crying at the first moment I open my eyes).
Hope I could give you a bit of help!
Good luck 🙂Hey all one! I’m sorry you have to go through this emotional wind whirl again 🙁
But in my opinion , he may be just struggling to deal with his own emotions. You see as the dumper themselves, they tend to ‘distract’ themselves from what they don’t want to deal with ( during the few weeks or even months) because they thought that they’ll be better without us. While we’re struggling that time. But we’re starting to deal with this emotions since day one. And getting better since, they’re the opposite.
Also, it’s an app you both used to use together in the past. But all that is in the past. He may be doing it to get or attention, or he unfriendly you because he thought it’ll make him feel ‘relieved’. I thought you mentioned you deleted this app if I’m not mistaken? Anyway. as for my case, I was freaking out when my ex deleted our photos in his instagram.. I bet my ex also deleted that couple app we used to use.. but then I’ve realise our old relationship is over. My advice is don’t let this affect you too much. Afterall if you both get back together in the future maybe using that app will.. remind you and him of the failed relationship ( the negative emotions and memories)Stay strong all one. I understand your feelings 🙁 But you’ve come this far, it’s okay to have some mini challenges and pullbacks in between but that doesn’t mean all hope is gone. I’ll be here to hear you out anytime 🙂
Thank you, Bat! I read “sneaky signs” and what he did can indeed be seen as such. I just thought that after 2 months of NC we are kinda passed that. That we should be in that phase where bad emotions and being forgotten, and when it’s time to make first positive move. This back and forth game confuses me. And worries me. I thought we’re getting on the right track, and now this… I don’t know. :-/
Dear moonbunny, you’re right, I did delete that app, but I installed it back again. Wanted to see if he maybe sent me some challanges (because I thought we’re starting to communicating again). Boy, was I wrong. :-/
Do you think I should continue trying…? In my mind, this is kind of msg from him saying “It’s over, you’re unfriended, don’t keep trying”.
Sometimes this game go for ages. I suggest you take it easy and relax. Then try again, What do you have to loose? This texting, whassaping, emailing, etc is very tiring. Try to imagine how it was before the mobile phone, internet, etc….basically the communication was much more slooooow…
The fact that he unfriended you is maybe because he might have felt you didn’t give him enough attention so subconsciously he was “upset”. When he called you by “mistake” did you try to have a “date” or something, or some kind of excuse to meet? In my experience this texting, etc is demanding and it has the opposite effect.
Have you tried to call him and meet? have you asked? mind you it has to sound like casual.
Cheers
I agree with desertrat , all one! Sometimes we get upset because of things that happened in social media. And I bet a lot of relationship fall apart because of assumptions and misunderstandings due to social medias :/ Love was so much simpler and getting along with your partner was so much stress-free before the internet era. Although I never lived in that era but I won’t doubt what I mentioned is false.
Let it go abit. He may be just doing it because of his confused emotions or just to get your attention. At the end , its our mindset that is the most important. I guess both you and me still have to make more improvements on this 🙁 Maybe after give it some more time you can start communicating with him, try to create an emotionally safe environment for both of you to communicate. Don’t let a mini loophole crush all your faith and your efforts dear!
My dear support group, how would I live without you?
I’m afraid how would I even cope with all of this if I haven’t discovered this forum… you always say the right words and make me feel better.Desertrat… that situation was awkward. It wasn’t good time to ask him out. He apologized later by text, convincing me that it really, truly was by accident. My response to that msg was rather friendly. But that’s it. Anything more than that would be too much. I sort of let the doors open… I wanted to make an overal atmosphere that if he texts me again, I won’t act psychotic and angry, but friendly and positive. Because of that, this unfriending thing hit me like a cold shower. I was expecting sth positive, and not this cutting off.
Moonbunny, I think I’ll make another NC for 30 days. You’re right, this still can shake me quite a bit.
I feel like I was moving forwards and finally started to pull myself together. Then this call and msg happened and I went crazy from hapiness and hoping and what not. Now I feel like my heart is broken once again, in a way. If this didn’t happen, I would be few steps forth, and I feel this has put me backwards.Awww 🙂 <3
I’m planning to do the same! NC for another 30 days. I was so desperate I went and search for online tarot reading hahaha which just completely demotivate me as my results is ‘ I have to move on ‘ LOL. Maybe I should just believe for the meantime. I know I know.. I was feeling like this too! When I thought I was finally progressing better, something hits me and I just .. breakdown. Breaking up with someone you love so much is like.. losing a part of you. But eventually we have to learn to be happy alone. Easy to say hard to achieve! ;/ I wish we could just meet up for coffee haha 🙁 I mean you and me 😉
Hahaha, I also read tarot readings and it also said I should better move on. I never went on those sites before, but the first few days of our break up, I was a frequent guest there. :facepalm:
I agree, that would be so awesome if we were actual friends, not just virtual.:) We would go out and drink and forget about our pain and struggles!
Well as a man who has unfriended ex gf i could say this..( she dumped me btw ) in sosial media spotify.facebook.whats app.. and many more application and stuff people can put their own picture and even text those things what they use..so after my breakup i kept my ex gf in some social apps but in one point i couldnt do it anymore because picture of her or text what i could see hurt so bad because i wasnt part their life anymore..so i blocked my ex on facebook.whats app. asked her to not follow me anymore on spotify and blocked/deleted from steam so that i could start healing and live my own life without the pain..(well in my texts there are a lot more info whats going on between me and my ex gf ) but i can say shortly after 7 months of total no contact she asked how im doing and do i wanna meet because i was in her mind from that point about month or little more she enjoys my company and we kiss and hug alot and even today got text that last time we met what was yesterday was fun. So dont take it as a negative thing
Removal of social media is how some people cope.
During my first break up with my current ex, after 3 months she dumped me, I begged and pleaded for 2 days, then I Went NC for a week and took down my Facebook. When I put it back up, a girl put up a message that she wanted to hang out when I was back in town. My ex called that night apologizing. And we got back together.This time around we were now together 17 months, I didn’t beg or plead I just went directly to no contact. She text and called and I didn’t respond. I deactivated my Facebook for 10 days. Then I sent a letter, she called me and admitting to looking for me and wondering what I was up to. UnFortunately, my profession allows me to easily be found. I’m in the entertainment business so pictures and news articles are always coming out. She can always find me by googling my name. Shame I can’t just disappear. All I can do it look good when searches come up.
Again, she was never active on Facebook but has stopped days at a time because I’m so prevalent there.
Just know social media helps people cope. She’s still having difficulty 2 months since e break up because she’s still “In a relationship”
Patience.
Thank you so much, guys.
I find men’s insight very valuable, especially of those who went through the same thing.Most of you got your girl back, or are close to getting her back.
In that msg he sent me few days after the call, he wrote: “Sorry for the message wrote in panic in 1 a.m”…
So he was slightly panicking when he first heard from me. First time in few months. I was kind of glad when I read that but that doesn’t have to mean anything. If anything, I’m famous for blowing things out of proportions, obviously.-.-
Yes! It’ll be great if we can grab a drink together. :/
Argh everything is so complicated and sometimes I just don’t think its fair for us to suffer mentally like this.. we deserve to be happy ! Cause YOLO. We should really start living for ourselves and I bet the right ones will come to us at that righr time.Hahaha high five at that tarot part!
I have not contacted my ex in a week since it’s time to rebuild connection but I just don’t feel ready I want to learn to be completely happy and confident by myself.
Hope you guys have some advice to add for me! 🙂
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