He kissed my forehead, but I didn't return the kiss

[Origami]

Long story short, he left me, he wanted to see other women. I find him involved with another girl, my heart sank. I did ALL the mistakes, trying to fix the relationship. 4 months after the fiasco, I decided to stop chasing him and went into NC.
After NC, we slowly started communicating again, eventually becoming more talkative via text, then the calls.

Now a lead up to this day (a month after NC): he was driving around town and doing errands. He asked if I was free to join him, so I decided to accept.

We hung out for a few hours (its been the most in a long while). As he made pit stops, I got to meet some of the people he worked with, etc.

When the day was done, he dropped me off at home. We had a long hug, then he kissed my forehead a few times.

I didn’t kiss him back.

My question is, all this time I have wanted him back, yet, when we’re finally at this moment of his kissing, I didn’t return the kisses. Why?

Maybe I’m still wondering about what has happened with this other girl?
Maybe it feels like I’m dating him all over again…

I’m trying to figure out what I’m feeling. I think there’s still some unresolved pain, that I haven’t talked to him about. When is a good time to talk to him about this unresolved feeling?

Truth is, I want to love him, but I feel some personal emotional blockage. Maybe I’m just going slow. Is he going too fast?

[roarimabear]

To be honest, it’s possible he wasn’t looking for you to kiss him back. I have a particular ex that I have a mutual agreement with NOT to get back together with YET, that I still kiss on the forehead to let her know that I care about her. To me, forehead kisses are like apologies and comforting gestures that make the receiver feel really safe and cared for, and don’t necessarily come with the romantic connotation that a lip kiss does.

The experience you described sounds like a really nice one, and if I had been the guy in that situation, I would have thought the day went over well and would not be questioning why you didn’t return forehead kisses. At the same time, it’s pretty clear he still has feelings for you.

Feel free to return the favor and invite him to do something fun. There will be a time and a place for the “us” talks, but I don’t think they have to be right yet. Just get to hanging out and enjoying each other’s company again. Since he left you worth the reason “I want to see other women,” jumping right into any sort of commitment talk is not advisable. However, if he brings it up, feel free to say everything that’s on your mind.

[Origami]

Thanks roarimabear, good to hear from you, and for all this insightful analysis! I can see the forehead kiss as a sign of appreciation and care, but I wouldn’t ever think of it as a sign of apology. Interesting.

I failed to mention that before he brought me back home, he also invited me over to his place and stay the night.

I declined.

I couldn’t just jump to going to his place and stay the night, after all that has happened.

On one hand, it might have been a good opportunity to talk about everything. On the other hand, I felt like a spontaneous acceptance to go over to his place would have made me think less of myself, some kind of undignified woman.

Yes, I can see that he does have feelings for me.

For now, we still text and talk to each other, every day, including hints of innuendos. Overall, I still try to keep what I can do under my control and continue to build ourselves.

[roarimabear]

You sound like you’ve got everything under control. I think things will work out for you just fine.

[Origami]

Thanks for the assurance roarimabear! 😀

[Author]

Posts