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Hi!
Once the no contact period is over, what’s the best way to reach out and re-connect. I’m thinking of sending a letter because we have a special connection to letters. How do u go about starting to meet up with an ex again? Without making it obvious you want to spend time with them. I’m on day 13 of no contact. She hasn’t contacted me since we broke up. Only once to sort final bills on our old flat. She has though liked a few of my pics on Instagram and facebook
Some extra info may help, did you guys text a lot? Texting has the benefit of being more casual and less pressure, which is good if you had a bad breakup. Do you have mutual friends who are trying to stay neutral? Something, like dinner with a bunch of friends where you both “happen” to be there is a good way to interact in person without much pressure like you could have with a one on one meetup.
Honestly, your ex isn’t an idiot, shes gonna know you want to see her and miss her, the trick is to make them realize your time and attention is scarce and THEY need to work to deserve it and want it, since they miss you too. So once you start talking after NC, give it a few weeks of contact before you ask to hang out. When you meet, don’t do dinner, don’t do a movie, basically anything at night and anything you see as a stereotypical romantic date is a big no-no, at least at first. Ideally, you want HER to suggest that sort of meetup, so make the first one a friendly catchup, maybe a quick lunch or coffee. From there, if it goes well suggest another meeting but make it more datelike, maybe a movie. Biggest thing is be patient, do the full NC and do not go in expecting to get back together right away, it takes time to make it work and if you rush it, it will blow up in your face.
When we were together we txt a lot, I txt her every morning before she woke up to tell her I loved her and hope she had a good day at work etc. I was going to send a letter towards the end of no contact because before we moved in together we did long distance and I would send her little letters through the post and she loved reciving them. I’ve written a rough draft of a letter I was thinking of sending
I was thinking if she gets in touch after the letter or if she doesn’t just txt her for a few days then inviting her out for a coffee for a catch up. See how it plays out.
Alright then the letter idea sounds completely fine to me, just make sure to stick to NC and ideally do not text about going to coffee until after the full NC period is over. If she is iffy about going to coffee you can push it a little, like “whats the harm?” or “Its just coffee” something along those lines, but don’t get super pushy or anything, trying to guilt her into going.
RustyRed you just made me remember of the times that I would text him at night before going to sleep (he always used to wake up before me to go to work). So sometimes I just wanted to say I loved him and I appreciated him, and to wish him a great day so that he would wake up with a smile on his face and have a better day 🙂 sorry just… sometimes you think of these moments and you want to share them but have no one to—
About how to contact her, you know her better. I gave mine a letter the day we broke up because I wanted him to know I valued him so I wrote it in case he never wanted to see me again (which wasn’t the case) and he read it many times, at least he told me that so I think he really appreciated. But if I have to send another maybe I will email. Not sure. It really depends on each person and you will know what she will like better 🙂
I think the letter is a great idea. In RR and kevin they say letters is something which stands out of the rest. I have never send my ex a letter but i will try this.
I’m also on planning to give the letter along with her stuff (some clothes and a puzzle of us together which she really wants back even though we broke up) to her sister, so her sister can give it to her personally so i know it will be delivered and i can get an update from her if it doenst goes according to plan ( since i get really along with her sister).
@kaila Ye I would txt her little things through out the day to remind her how much I cared. Now I’m kinda missing all that, just being in contact with her. I just want the rest of no contact to be over so I can see if she wants to get back in touch kills me not knowing.
@moohy Ye letters seem more personal. Like your putting more effort into it. I wish u all the best keep us postedHeres my letter @RustyRed. Tell me what u think 🙂 i fixed it a bit. Thats the rough rough draft lol
I’m definitely going to be sending a letter. I’ve got too much to say for a text message lol and it’s more personal.
Just read your letter and it’s really good. Made me rethink my letter to try and cut it down a little bit. I just need to keep it short and sweet I think.
@kd1988 who’s letter did u read mine?
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