NC – still living together

[Fmk]

Broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years. Before we broke up he became distant. He just seemed like he stopped caring. So I told him let’s take some space for each since we love together and spend every waking moment together. At this point I thought we were just ttaking space, we havent really been getting a long for a while. Before all this happened i hhave expressed to him how I felt uuncomfortable about this other girl that was always around, mind you she was part of our group of friends for a while. More his friend from work. One of those girls who always hung out with the guys. I never had a problem with her until I did. I noticed little things that bugged me. When i told him how I felt he seemed to not care. Anyways, when we took space I found out her was actually spending 1 on 1 time with her while we were having space. I caught him in her house in her bed room hanging out. Obviously I freaked, and that pushed it to a break up… he swears and claims nothing had happened and she was just a friend and they were waiting for a group of people.. anyways, we still live together and I cant get out because of finances. We have separate rooms and he barely comes home at night. I have tried the NC rule once already and failed. I know since we live together that we have to talk about something due to responsibilities but he says things like he loves me, and hes sorry that things happened the way they did. And that he just wants to work on his self and that he misses me. ALL the time, he says these things but yet doesnt make a commitment to work on us or try to fix us. Says he cant right now. Wtf does this mean, I do love him so much. 5 years is a long time and I saw myself marrying him. What do I do?

[patricia12]

If you can’t afford professional couples counseling, go together and talk with a priest or minister.

Good luck..

[Letty_]

Doing NC while living together is tough but it is possible. Proceed NC but since you do live together only respond to the things that are really important. like topics about the bills, chores, and house problems. other than that he doesn’t need to know anything else that deals in your life. you can also give out quick and simple answers but don’t go into details. Don’t start any conversations. let him be curious about you.

[brycamdan]

God I feel like I’m in almost the exact same stituation but opposite sexes. I don’t know how to say this without it sounding wrong but from what has been happening to me, it sounds like he is sleeping with someone else. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t still have feelings for you though. I know my ex has been sleeping with another guy and we live together in a 1 bedroom apt 🙁 I’m right there with you trying so hard to stay strong.

I just posted in reconciliation about my situation but I’m so new to this forum and would like anybodies input, good or bad, helpful or hurtful. I am lost but have been working on myself. At one point we had so many plans to live our lives together and now they seem ruined.

I don’t know if this helps at all but I thought I’d try to share my input with someone that’s hurting just like me. We can both stay strong! Anybody feel free to contact me if you need someone to talk to also. I’m in a real rough place and anything helps me too.

Best wishes,

Bryce

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